On Facebook you can update your status so that everyone in the free world knows what you're up to/thinking/hating/missing/loving. It is the modern day equivalent of the AOL Instant Messenger "Away Message," the medium by which one could always know the emotional state of their peers when I was in middle and high school.
I think I went like, a year and a half before even accessing this particular function of Facebook, because I didn't like people knowing my business, or being passive-aggressive and dramatic about sending a vague message to someone with a poignant song lyric or some airy statement about how mad I am. I also don't like thinking I'm a person who needs that kind of public validation.
Well guess what. I'm blogging, and additionally, I am smitten with the Facebook Status thing now. We all need a little validation.
But I still run into moments when I gotta restrain myself, you know? It is tempting to want to tell everyone at your university (plus your elementary school buddies, your distant cousins, your parents' friends who decided they needed to see what that FB business was all about, kids who were in your cabin at camp, ex-co-workers and high school best friends) EXACTLY what kind of UNIQUE PAIN you are experiencing, through the medium of that perfect song lyric or coy Marilyn Monroe quote (you know, the one about the wise woman leaving before she is left) but there is a line that can be crossed. It is embarassing to cross it. And I will not do it.
People get talked about for putting up shit like,
"Becky Smith... didn't know this would hurt so much :("
"Jane Wallace... is slow dancing in a burning room"
"David Wu... won't ever be understood by anyone."
Mostly because for the rest of the day a flurry of concerned messages lets you know just how melodramatic you were being: "What are you so mad about?" "What did he do this time?" "Did that happen to you..? Or is that a Coldplay song?"
So I'll do it here, because I think I know the only person who reads this (it's better that way). If I were shameless, or drunk and unconcerned, my Facebook status today would read:
"______ is really fucking furious."
"_______ wants the last year of her life back."
"_______ would kick you in the face if you were in the same state."
"_______ doesn't understand and probably never will."
"_______ is at a therapy appointment, which her own mother recommended she attend."
"_______ doesn't know how to do this and would like to take the day off with a handle of 151 and sit by a body of water somewhere, forgetting."
I feel better already.
New Things I've Done In The Last Week:
- Spent $170 on a pair of jeans last night. Oops. (Whatever, if you could buy sex, and wear it, it would be these jeans).
- Worked at the Bumbershoot music festival all weekend and saw the following bands live for the first time: !!!, Band of Horses, The Black Keys, Ingrid Michaelson, T.I., Estelle
-Finally went and supported Justin Klump at the Aladdin last night. I am so excited for him and proud of how far he's come, and the passion with which he's pursuing his dream. Mostly, I'm impressed he has a dream.
- Left work early and went to a job interview. (!)
I saw some old friends at the show last night who invited me to escape this quarter-life-crisis (thx John Mayer) at their place in Hawaii for as long as it takes to clear my head.
"_________ is totally considering running away to Hawaii."