From a Gmail chat with the Dance Fighter this morning...
Dance Fighter: I am watching that movie where the kids talk
me: look who's talking?
Dance Fighter: yeah! haha
me: hahaha- i want to come get in bed with you! oh, i told you i got asked out at work, right? by John?
Dance Fighter: NO!
Dance Fighter: Who is John
who would he look like?
10:40 AM me: oh good... let me thinkkkkk
one of those creepily thin and pale guys who you think is 22 but is really 30
i can't think of any. shoot.
i mean, he's really nice. but, he is one of the IT guys here, and we went to lunch last week, because, why not and i wanted thai food
Dance Fighter: haha
10:41 AM what did he say
did he have any game?
me: and then we fuckin get back here, and our cubes are near each other and he comes over and says, in a low voice, "hey uh, _____? can i talk to you in the hall for a sec?"
and i wanted to throw up
Dance Fighter: oh, GROSS
me: so we get out in the hall and i look at him bitchily like, get on with it. and he says in that low, serious voice again, "would you want to go out sometime?”
10:42 AM Dance Fighter: this is the best
this is like better than the office
Dance Fighter: or maybe that is because there are still two more weeks until the office starts
me: at which point i squinched up my face and alluded to my recent traumatic and devastating breakup, and also mentioned how uncomfortable i am with us being at work together
oh, it gets better
me: so THEN we come back inside, and then i get an email on monday or something that is apologizing profusely for his actions
Dance Fighter: oh no
you need to secretly snap photos of these people
me: i say, basically, "yes, it did make me uncomfortable, and yes it was totally off base. don't do it again, apology accepted."
10:44 AM Dance Fighter: omg you like owned him
me: so THEN YESTERDAY he came up to my desk AGAIN and wanted to go out in the hall and talk
Dance Fighter: DOn't do it again!
me: and i was ssoooo ruude
i was like, "uh, i'm kind of busy?"
Dance Fighter: oh what did he talk about?
me: he apologized, again!
Dance Fighter: wow
he really likes you
me: and i was so short with him, i was like, "seriously. you are making this really awkward. don't bring it up again. ever."
10:45 AM Dance Fighter: omg
me: he was like, "so you aren't going to like, quit your job over this?" and i almost snapped, but i did say, "if i quit my job it would be for a plethora of other reasons, NAMELY THAT I HATE IT"
so i told him to drop it, and then strutted back into the office.
10:46 AM Dance Fighter: he wanted you to quit your job so he can frequently ask you out
Dance Fighter: THEN?!
me: he came up to my desk AGAIN
and wanted to talk in the motherfucking hall, AGAIN
Dance Fighter: WHAT WHY
this is bordering harassment
me: and i said, literally, "John. i swear to God..." and he goes " no no it's about something else"
10:47 AM Dance Fighter: this is so so funny
me: and he wanted to get flowers for some secretary who was sick and wanted it to be a surprise and didn't know where to order flowers because he just moved here from ohio
and i was like, fucking email me!
Dance Fighter: oh he is SOOOO LONELY!
me: yeah well so am i! i just text my ex like every other normal person!
Dance Fighter: umm, _____, can we talk in the hall?
10:49 AM me: i will throw up on your face if you say that to me in person
even before he asked me out he gave me the willies. like, just his voice, poor guy.
Dance Fighter: I probably will
me: i shudder
Dance Fighter: hahahah
10:50 AM John, I SWEAR TO GOD
me: yeah laugh it up.
i seriously do want to quit
Also, I don't know WHAT they think I do around here all day... I told them this morning I had No.THING. to work on today and they said they'd find something... that was HOURS ago. If they come over here and I'm blogging, it's not my fault, man.