Friday, May 21, 2010

They're called DOnuts, not DONTnuts

I hope I have your full attention, because I'm about to drop some knowledge:

When someone brings food to something, EAT IT.

This wisdom was first imparted to me by one of the best high school teachers the world has ever known.

He opened class one day, sitting on his wooden stool, by thoughtfully remarking that he wasn't a big advice giver, but if we were to take away anything from him at all that year, the one thing he wanted us to remember was,
"If someone has gone to the trouble to make your day better by
bringing donuts, the least you can do is eat one. Always eat a donut if someone has brought them."

And I think that's an excellent axiom by which we should all live.

On the rainy drive to work this Friday in May, after a long week of meetings and a fair amount of actual hard work on my part, I decided my coworkers deserved a little sugar and cholesterol for their efforts.

I stopped by Donut Land, which is right across the street from Donut King.

Donut Land used to be Winchell's, and we would stop there every Sunday on the way home from church, where my brother would procure two donuts: one rainbow-sprinkle, one cinnamon-twist. I waffled and went through phases- buttermilk bars were my go-to for a while... but then I found apple fritter pull aparts. And then I got really into glazed crullers - or, as "into" a type of donut as you can be, I guess. Basically, I have an affinity for the place.

Donut King, on the other hand, was owned by our Chinese neighbors. One time, my best friend and next-door-neighbor told me, as we rode by the place sitting in the back seat of her parents' Aerostar van, "Oh, I love going there. I always get free donuts because they're our neighbors!"

Um, I had been in there plenty and no one ever gave me any free anything.
So now, some fifteen years later, I still resent them and instead am very loyal to my amigos at Donut Land.

I arrived at work with the dozen, hand-picked selections (maple old fashioned, chocolate glazed, raspberry filled, crullers, blueberry cake, rainbow-sprinkle, plain glazed, plain cake with chocolate glaze and nuts, powdered sugar, etc) and would you believe it if I said the first 3 people to which the donuts were offered REFUSED?

In the immortal words of Stephanie Tanner... (say it with me, now), "How RUDE!"

So now I've eaten two and am feeling a little nauseous.

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